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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I`ve never sympathized more with women in my life.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."