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Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"