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I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
What’s the answer to this question?
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
I am hungry 25 hours a day
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
50 years ago you had to get really f*cking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal.