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One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
If my walls could talk, they`d probably say "stop running into me you idiot"