Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
It`s awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?