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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
is spending my childrenΒ΄s inheritance.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
If my walls could talk, they`d probably say "stop running into me you idiot"
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.