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The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
UFC is 10% fighting, and 90% advertising the next fight
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
I`m not saying my ex wasn`t pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.