Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".