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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
The next time someone asks me what I`m doing, I`m gonna reply "I`m breathing 2 stay alive how about u"?
I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
Iām that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
HR have advised that Iām not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
Just got rid of 150lbs of ugly fat ... Got divorced.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?