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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.