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I wish I had a friend like me
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.