Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
“Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.
If people say you`re acting "really weird," take it as a compliment that you usually only act semi-weird and now you`re totally nailin` it.
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.