Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars