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Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Yes Grandma, I`m almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."