Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?