Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
This is a lousy dating site.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.