Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?