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Exercise? More like extra fries.
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories