Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.