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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.