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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.