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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I believe in love at first episode.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.