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The only problem with using the treadmill is that you can`t run from your own farts.
My Living Will says it`s okay to pull the plug on me, but I`d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage