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I`m surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn`t incorporated into more American Holidays.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
There is no time to check time
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?