Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
I drink to make other people interesting.
I grew up for this?
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn’t have borrowed all that money.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.