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I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.