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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.