Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.