Daily Silly Status

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?

I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.

I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.

It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.

I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.

If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?

The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...

The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.

At night I dump massive amounts of Legos on the floor in case anyone tries to rob my house bare footed.

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!

Question everything...Or should you?

To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!

Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."