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Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.