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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.