Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.