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Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
If A Couple in Love are called Love Birds, then a couple who fight with each other should be called Angry Birds.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, poverty can’t buy you anything.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.