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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Love is a two way street but you have to be careful because women can’t drive.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?