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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Own the day
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o