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I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.