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They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?