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They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
What if the weather talks about us?
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)