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If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.