Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
I`m never free but I`m available.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.