Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.