Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.