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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.