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Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I`d go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
I wish life had a β€œrewind-the-weekend” button.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.