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When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.