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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.