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Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
TEIAM - problem solved
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.