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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Do I have to wake up? I just woke up yesterday.
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......