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People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
If I was a cab driver I`d yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...