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Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with "According to the prophecy."
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2