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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
Dear Fox news,I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.